Some People Wait A Lifetime

The other day I found myself on hold while waiting to inquire about a billing issue with my telephone service provider. Unlike many similar automated queueing systems, this one did not give any indication of wait times. That said, I knew I was in it for the long haul as every few minutes the background music was interrupted by the following message:

Interested in a career in telecommunications? We currently have several openings for call centre operators.

When I first heard this, I thought: Fair enough. They are short staffed, but at least they're trying to do something about it. By the fifth or sixth time I heard it, my thoughts were becoming somewhat less charitable.

But then, about ten minutes into my wait, something happened that really lit a fuse. At first I didn't catch on as by this time I was cradling the phone on my shoulder and going about some other business. When the penny did drop, I became painfully aware of the song playing in the background. Believe it or not, it was none other than A Moment Like This which, for those of you not familiar with the lyrics, repeats almost ad nauseum the line:

"some people wait a lifetime... for a moment like this."

Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against Kelly Clarkson, or this particular piece of music. But I did find it's placement a bit over the top. Either someone at the phone company has a very warped sense of humor, or attention to detail does not feature highly in their operational imperatives. Either way, while I had to laugh, I was not amused, if you know what I mean.

As it happens, I did not have to wait an entire lifetime. It just felt like one.

After a little over 18 minutes, I was finally put through to a rather pleasant individual, who when challenged on the billing item in question (a charge of $3.99 for a 1 minute call to directory assistance) was quick to advise me that particular service was not one provided by her company, but rather one provided buy a third party and that I would have to take it up with them directly. I found it strange that they would farm out such a lucrative service (many lawyers charge less than what equates to a $239.40 hourly rate) but since they are the ones doing the billing, it is probably safe to assume they get a cut.

In any event, intrigued by this response, not to mention being somewhat opportunistic, I then asked if they also farmed out the design of their automated queueing systems. Needless to say, she failed to see the humor in this.

In the end I opted to eat the disputed charge and did not bother calling the number she gave me. Not all of us can afford to wait a lifetime for moments like this!

If your company has an automated call management system, you might want to take a moment and check out what impression it leaves with your customers. From the rest of you, we'd love to hear about any 'interesting' call management systems you may have encountered.

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