A Senior Moment

A few years back, an elderly lady wrote the following letter to her bank. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in The London Times. I am sharing it with you now in hopes it brings a smile to your face... and should you be in business, the inspiration to review your automated telephone response system.






Dear Sir,

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my cheque with which I endeavoured to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three 'nanoseconds' must have elapsed between his presenting the cheque and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honour it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my Pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only thirty eight years. You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account £30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.

My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways.

I noticed that whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, re-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become. From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person. My mortgage and loan payments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank by cheque, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.

Be aware that it is an offence under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope.

Please find attached an Application Contact Status which I require your chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Solicitor, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.

In due course, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modelled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service.

As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press buttons as follows:

1- To make an appointment to see me.

2- To query a missing payment.

3- To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.

4- To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.

5- To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.

6- To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.

7- To leave a message on my computer (a password to access my computer is required. A password will be communicated to you at a later date to the Authorised Contact.)

8- To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 8

9- To make a general complaint or inquiry, the contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service. While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.

Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement. May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous, New Year.

Your Humble Client

It is important to remember that this letter was actually written by a 98 year old woman.

And may I wish you a happy, and not so slightly more prosperous, New Year.

To comment, or read the comments on this blog click on 'comments' beside the little envelope below. To read previous articles (this is #47 - I'm shooting for 50), see the Blog Archive (mid right) and to become a Wavemaker Blogs follower, click on 'Follow' (lower right).

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Putting Things Right

 

A few weeks back, my son Adam had a little trouble with a faulty roll of aluminium foil. As he explains it "I could pull out both sides, but try as I might, could not lift the middle without it tearing."



Adam thought about taking it back to the store, but having previously discarded the receipt, knew they'd only give him a hard time; so to avoid further frustration, he tossed the foil in the bin and the box in the recycling.

The following evening, faced with the prospect, not to mention expense of having to go out and get another roll, he decided to call ALCAN, the company that manufactured the faulty foil, and let them know about his experience with their product. Given ALCAN's offices are back east, and it was already late in the day in Vancouver, not surprisingly his call was answered by an automated voice messaging system.

At this point Adam considered simply hanging up and letting sleeping dogs lie, but something in the tone of the message encouraged him to leave a brief description of his complaint as well as his contact details.

The very next morning he received a very well crafted, personalized email from a company rep at NOVELIS FOIL PRODUCTS, the distribution company that represents ALCAN. This email contained a sincere apology, an assurance that they would make good on his purchase, a few questions about the problem and a request that he return the roll (at their expense) so as they could investigate further. This was clearly not a form letter and was worded such that it left Adam feeling they truly appreciated his feedback... and were actually going to act on it!

He replied explaining that unfortunately, he had thrown out the contents, but still had the box in his recycling. While half expecting not to hear back, in very short order he received a 'no problem' response with a further assurance the company would make good on his purchase and a 'if it's not too much trouble' request for the product code off the box, so that the quality control investigation could continue.

Another email or two ensued and, to make a long story short, just the other day Adam received the package pictured above, along with a further thanks for bringing this matter to the company's attention.

Now that's what I would call 'Putting Things Right!'Sidebar: By shear coincidence, around the same time this was going on, I attended a sales and marketing workshop where the facilitator suggested "there isn't a company out there that knows how to effectively deal with customer complaints." I would suggest that the good folks at Novelis would prove him wrong.

And, in fairness to ALCAN, who arguably manufacture the best foil on the market, if you manufacture hundreds of thousands of anything, somewhere along the line, even under the most stringent quality controls, you're going to have a defect slip through. It's what happens when one does, like the response described above, that separates great companies from the also ran.

You may recall, late last year I posted an article entitled "Revenge" which described what happened to one company when they failed to act on a customer complaint. Perhaps United could learn a thing or two from ALCAN and Novelis.

To comment, or read the comments on this blog click on 'comments' beside the little envelope below. To read previous articles (this is #38), see the Blog Archive (lower right) and to become a Wavemaker Blogs follower, click on 'Follow' (just above Archive).

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Canadians are Wanting More, but Getting Less

According to a recent study conducted by American Express, 58% of Canadians indicated the quality of customer service is more important to them in today’s economic environment than it was prior to the recession.

These same consumers also suggested they would be willing to pay a premium upwards of 7% just to get better service.

Of the people polled, 91% consider the level of customer service important when deciding to do business (or keep doing business) with a company; yet 65% believe most companies have either not changed their attitude toward customer service in the face of these economic times, or are now paying even less attention to it!

And only 15% believe companies value their business enough to go the extra mile to keep it.

By my way of thinking, for anyone in business who's feeling the pinch, or just wanting more, this dichotomy screams OPPORTUNITY!

What do you think?

To read more of the findings of this study, click here: Service speaks: Canadians willing to spend 7% more for premium treatment.

To comment, or read the comments on this blog click on 'comments' beside the little envelope below. To read previous articles (this is #37), see the Blog Archive (lower right) and to become a Wavemaker Blogs follower, click on 'Follow' (just above Archive).

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Go Figure?

In the name of fairness and to keep the peace in the family, it is important that all members of the household share a bit of the domestic workload; or at least that's what my wife tells me.

At our house, I have as one my chores the all important responsibility of returning the recyclables such as the empty pop cans and the like.


It's not a bad job really. It gets me out of the house and I can either pocket the proceeds, or use them to buy those necessities like ice cream, cookies and potato chips which are all to often 'forgotten' by she who does most of the grocery shopping.

One day, while returning a rather large quantity of empties (I save them up not out of laziness, but rather in the name of efficiency) to a big box store I not so affectionately call 'The Stupid Store', I was 'greeted' at the 'Customer Service' counter by a rather surly clerk who bluntly advised me I could only return 24 cans on any given day.

"You have got to be kidding me!" I replied "No one told me that when I bought several cases of pop a few weeks back."

"Well that's our policy." she said as if that explained everything.

Being a dedicated student of human behaviour, I quickly sensed there was no winning with this 'lady' so I resisted the urge to further protest, diligently counted out 24cans and placed them on the counter. She then selected two of those cans, handed them back and said "We don't sell this brand here, you'll have to take them back where you got them."

While tempted to ask "What difference does it make, don't they all get crushed and go to the same place in the end?" I knew the likelihood of my question yielding any reasonable explanation was just about on par with the likelihood of me getting a genuine smile out of this field hardened battle axe, so I obediently replaced the two cans in question with ones bearing their store brand.

Then something happened that totally blew me away. Before relinquishing my meager proceeds, the clerk, hereafter know as 'Attila the Hen', produced a rather unofficial looking form, filled in the date and asked me for my name, phone number and signature.

"What in the world do you need all that for?" I replied "Are you afraid I might sneak back into the store later in the day and try to return another 24 cans... or are you thinking that perhaps some of my cans could be counterfeit?

"Oh no" She said in a tone that implied I was something short of an imbecile, "We ask for this information not because we don't trust our customers, (I'm not convinced) but because we don't trust our employees. After all, they could simply take money from the till and claim it was paid out for returned recyclables."

At this point, I found myself uncharacteristically at a loss for words: which was probably just as well, but what was I to do?

I had no intention of sticking around to hear any more of this nonsense and pushing a shopping cart still half full of cans around the store in search of the previously mentioned necessities had little appeal.

Besides, I certainly didn't want to risk contact with any of the store's other apparently untrustworthy employees. So I left, without spending a dime, in search of a more accommodating grocer. After all, I still had the two cans that had been rejected, and returning home with them, not to mention without the ice cream, would surely signal that I had been negligent in my domestic duties.

To put this little story in perspective and give it meaning in context of the importance of a positive customer experience - I shudder to think how much our family spends in groceries over the course of a week, let alone a month, a year, or a lifetime... and yet, for the sake of a dime (the refund value of two cans) and some very, very stupid rules, this store intentionally choose to send me and my money, directly into the welcoming arms of one of their competitors.

Go Figure?

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Deliver What You Promise

Last week my wife and I took a short break and headed back east to visit family and friends and spend a little time touring Boston and New York City.

While walking through the financial district of The Big Apple, something in a second story window caught my eye.

We stopped and took this picture as I couldn't resist the contradiction of an all important lesson in customer service:

Never create expectations against

which you can't deliver!

I wonder just how long the gentleman (top left) has been waiting for his pizza? But enough said about that. As it happens, both New York and Boston far exceeded our expectations.

While a tad on the warm side at 103 Fahrenheit/39 Celsius, we found New York to be clean, friendly and surprising vibrant, what with the recession and all. With the exception of a little attitude from one poor soul who in all fairness was melting in a half price Broadway ticket booth, the service was exceptional! But then who would expect anything less from the city that knows how to handle adversity like no other.

Boston was equally warm on both fronts. If you're ever out that way, I highly recommend the Duck Tour followed by a taste of the local seafood at The Barking Crab... but be prepared to wait in line. Recession or not, the combination of warm, friendly and funky still draws a crowd.

Could it be the Americans are on to something?


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Who Cares?

The other day I was asked if there was a model or magic formula for delivering good service. My initial reaction was to say "Of course not! It's a very complicated and multifaceted thing. That's why you have to hire someone like me to help you design and deliver a great customer experience!"

My second reaction was to feel guilty for my first reaction.

It's not that I don't believe there is a lot entailed in delivering an exceptional customer experience. I'd be a fool to be in this business if that were the case. However, that's not what was being asked. My colleague simply wanted to know what one needed to do to deliver 'good' service; and to be honest, it doesn't take a model or formula to define that. It can be captured in a single word:

CARE!

Truth is most companies (read the people that work for them) either don't care, or don't care enough. They are so caught up in their own needs and wants, they've lost sight of the needs and wants of the customer. That's why words like "they just don't care" are so often at the root of the ever growing number of customer complaints and horror stories we hear.

How many companies can you think of that really seem to care?

C is for Customers - they always come first
A is for Appreciate - they are the very life blood of your business R is for Respect - their beliefs and mannerisms may be different than yours
E is for Enthusiasm, Energy, Equality, Excitement, Empathy - and all the other 'E' words that define how you should interact with them.

Now I feel better.

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Many Happy Returns!

Happy New Year! I hope you had a great holiday and got exactly what you wanted for Christmas. I also hope it was the right size, the right color and the right whatever it needed to be.

I suspect however, there are those among you who have already made, or are planning to make a visit back to the shops for some minor or major adjustments.

And for those of you, my further hope is for 'Many Happy Returns!'

Even as I write these words I realize this to be wishful thinking. After all, last year was very challenging for most retailers and by all accounts, the sales figures leading up to Christmas didn't exactly turn the tide.

What are the chances that shop owners, sale clerks and customer service folk are going to greet you and your returns with the same enthusiasm they displayed (or should have displayed) when the purchases were made?

The truth is - I've already heard a number of somewhat disturbing stories.

The first relates to the electronics store who has implemented a 15% restocking fee on all returns, a hefty price if the item in question is a computer or big screen TV. Apparently one disgruntled customer asking why this policy was not brought to their attention at the time of sale, was not so politely told "It's printed on the back of the sales receipt!" which it was.

Fair enough I suppose, but consider the fact the customer doesn't get the receipt until after the purchase; and just out of curiosity, when was the last time anyone actually read the back of a sales receipt?

Then there's the major department store that back in October and November, was so actively encouraging everyone to shop early, but now, when presented with a return, is so quick to point out their 30 day refund policy.

On the one hand, I can understand, even sympathize with these retailers. After all you can't really expect them to freely accept returns for an indefinite period; or can you?

What constitutes a fair and reasonable return policy? To be fair (and ethical) it most certainly has to be clearly understood by all parties at the time of purchase, not hidden away in small print on the back of a receipt. But what is a reasonable return period and what specific return terms and conditions actually make sense?

Not easy questions to be sure.

Perhaps the root of the answer lies in just how much the seller values the future business of their customers and how much they care about what those customers have to say about them.

Rather than explain, I'll share with you one more little story which, while not so current, may help make the point:

Some time back a pregnant woman walked into a linen store to return an unopened set of sheets purchased precisely 31 days earlier. The sales clerk, obviously annoyed by this intrusion, cleared a pile of other returns off the counter and pointed to a rather dog eared copy of their version of the 30 day refund policy.

After expressing her disappointment, the customer in question was told that if she didn't like the policy, she was welcome to shop elsewhere.

That woman just happened to be my wife and the child she was carrying is now 20. While she has since made her fair share of towel, bedding and related purchases, my wife has never forgotten the words of that clerk, and more to the point, has never once stepped foot back in that store. Furthermore, to this day, whenever someone as much as mentions the establishment in question, she recounts her experience with same level of emotion and disdain that she expressed to me on returning home that fateful day.

The lesson:

When it comes to customers expressing and acting on their dissatisfaction, there is no 30 day policy.


To comment, or read the comments on this blog click on 'comments' beside the little envelope below. To read previous articles (this is #23), see the Blog Archive (lower right) and to become a Wavemaker Blogs follower, click on 'Follow' (just above Archive).

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